I can't believe it. Actually, I can. I don't know why I'm so surprised though. Well ,thank God for social networking, right? How else would he expect me to keep up with all the fucking lies and hypocracy? It's such a game. Same song and dance for almost two years. I always hated that I didn't leave sooner. I'm not going to let myself make that same mistake twice. I don't care how much he cries or what kind of guilt induced, self-hate rant he goes on to make me believe that he's sorry or he's really going to change (again) . I'm unimpressed. and terribly dissapointed.
and very, very tired. Goodnight.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
kayleigh needs motivation
Today has been a total waste...completely uneventful. I woke up at 7:00 this morning to my little kozy rozy, well that was actually the second time I was woken up this morning. The first time was much, much earlier, but a little bottle and some Baby Motrin helped her go back to dreaming little baby dreams. . She's teething like crazy now!
Anyway, my only real plans were to go down to the child support office today, but since I don't have enough gas money to go to N.Charleston today and then back to Summerville again and then downtown tomorrow, I have to cram all my errands into tomorrow so I don't have to back track and waste gasolina. Fun,fun, fun.
Onto relationship news, Adam and I had/have started developing a friendship. I don't know where that's going now ,since he's so opposed to me doing anything against his former rules and see's it as a deliberate personal attack on him. We talked awhile today and honestly I can kind of see where he's coming from, because there are, of course, certain people that I would be very disturbed about him socializing with. Especially ex-girlfriends. But I'm just so OVER IT. I'd rather have the don't ask, don't tell policy so we can get on with our lives. If we can be friends than awesome! If we can't, well it kind of sucks, but I'm not going to have him going back and forth about it everytime I do something he doesn't like. I wouldn't put up with that from any other friend, and I have already put up with so many broken promises and lies the past year and a half, that if he can't make a decision he can actually stick to, then I'll make it for him. I've been through so much drama in this relationship and stuck around, only to find that it's been a failed investment. I guess I'm just not willing to sink anymore time,energy, or emotion into something that's done nothing but drained the life out of me and has not offered enough of a return to make any of it worthwhile (besides Kozette). Some people would say that's harsh, but it's just a practical way to look at things. I believe it's time to cut my losses and move on. Not just with Adam either, with everybody in my life who's not offering a good return on my investment in them. I just want to throw out all the old,bad people/habits that are dragging me down and start all over from scratch!
I'm really looking forward to starting my life for reals! I'll be getting my apartment and starting school in a few months. I'm back on my medicine, looking for a job AND trying to get my post-baby body back in shape. I feel like I'm taking a real shot at independence this time. No more relying on other people. And it feels pretty bitchin' ...like watching LMN with your best girls and doing facials and having a shit ton of liquor for apple-tini's!!! Yeah. Like Amazing. =]
Anyway, my only real plans were to go down to the child support office today, but since I don't have enough gas money to go to N.Charleston today and then back to Summerville again and then downtown tomorrow, I have to cram all my errands into tomorrow so I don't have to back track and waste gasolina. Fun,fun, fun.
Onto relationship news, Adam and I had/have started developing a friendship. I don't know where that's going now ,since he's so opposed to me doing anything against his former rules and see's it as a deliberate personal attack on him. We talked awhile today and honestly I can kind of see where he's coming from, because there are, of course, certain people that I would be very disturbed about him socializing with. Especially ex-girlfriends. But I'm just so OVER IT. I'd rather have the don't ask, don't tell policy so we can get on with our lives. If we can be friends than awesome! If we can't, well it kind of sucks, but I'm not going to have him going back and forth about it everytime I do something he doesn't like. I wouldn't put up with that from any other friend, and I have already put up with so many broken promises and lies the past year and a half, that if he can't make a decision he can actually stick to, then I'll make it for him. I've been through so much drama in this relationship and stuck around, only to find that it's been a failed investment. I guess I'm just not willing to sink anymore time,energy, or emotion into something that's done nothing but drained the life out of me and has not offered enough of a return to make any of it worthwhile (besides Kozette). Some people would say that's harsh, but it's just a practical way to look at things. I believe it's time to cut my losses and move on. Not just with Adam either, with everybody in my life who's not offering a good return on my investment in them. I just want to throw out all the old,bad people/habits that are dragging me down and start all over from scratch!
I'm really looking forward to starting my life for reals! I'll be getting my apartment and starting school in a few months. I'm back on my medicine, looking for a job AND trying to get my post-baby body back in shape. I feel like I'm taking a real shot at independence this time. No more relying on other people. And it feels pretty bitchin' ...like watching LMN with your best girls and doing facials and having a shit ton of liquor for apple-tini's!!! Yeah. Like Amazing. =]
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
my first blog!
K. Well, it is almost 1am and I am just finishing up my page. I feel so socially tech savvy. I now have a myspace, a facebook, a twitter and now a blogger account. wow. pretty soon face to face meetings and social gatherings will be totally obsolete. we'll all just hole up in the comfort of our own homes staring at all the bright screens of our cell phones, computers, televisions, etc..and just completely lose the need for human contact outside of home,work and school. Anywho...back on topic...my first blog...I've been talking about writing for a while but I've always been to shy to share my "work" so I figure this is a good outlet to get started. since its a pretty casual environment. please forgive the total lack of grammar, punctuation, and possibly spelling. like i said..its 1am. so i'm going to bed now. i promise my next blog will be much more interesting. night alllll
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